Kasturi Manjari devi dasi
nama om visnu-padaya krsna-presthaya bhu-tale
srimate romapada-svamin iti namine
My dearly beloved and most respected spiritual master and eternal father,
Please accept my most humble and respectful obeisances in the dust of Your most merciful divine lotus feet. All glories to Your Divine Grace! All glories to His Divine Grace Srila Prabhupada!
On this most auspicious day of Your appearance, I want to express my deepest, heartfelt gratitude to You for accepting me as Your spiritual daughter, even though I don’t have any quality that a disciple should have. The only thing that You will find in me are disqualifications and contamination. I am again and again grateful to You for saving me from drowning more and more in ignorance.
I feel very fortunate and greatly blessed to have the loving association, shelter and very wonderful, careful training of Her Grace Prema-tarangini Mataji and His Grace Sacikumara Prabhuji. Because of their unconditional love, guidance, care and training, I am understanding how a Vaisnava is like a desire tree who fulfills the right kind of desires and is always full of compassion for the fallen conditioned souls like myself, even when I have no qualification. I beg for Your mercy and blessings to develop deeper attachment and regard for them.
I am very thankful to You and Her Grace Prema-tarangini Mataji for giving me a sanga of devotees (peer association) with whom I hear krsna-katha, read scriptures, share my realizations and hear their realizations, even though I am physically far. Yours and Mataji’s instructions, guidance, and this peer association give me all the strength to continue to follow the most sublime process of devotional service. I beg for Your mercy and blessings to cultivate deep loving relationships gifted to me, not find faults, not envy them, always see good in them, see faults in my own self and always strive to improve myself.
Thank You so much Guru Maharaja, for so many wonderful retreats, yatras, Your association in person and through letters, and for giving me all the resources for growing in my Krsna consciousness and for carrying out my parenting service properly. Even though it is very challenging, because of the guidance and training Her Grace Prema-tarangini Mataji has been so lovingly and kindly giving me, I am somehow trying to do it in a mood of service and apply the principle of detached caring.
By some great fortune, my heart is deeply touched by Your qualities of humility, deep care, love and concern for all of us. You are so dedicated and always connected to Srila Prabhupada. A few incidents happened that have made me feel that I have never felt such care and love in my life before. You are always so present.
During the first lecture at the South India yatra You mentioned that “we should be so exemplary of our spiritual master that when people see us, they are reminded of our spiritual master…we should be such followers of our Founder-Acarya that when people see us, they smile and think kindly of our FounderAcarya…it’s not just the shape of the tilaka that you wear, but the character and qualities that you exhibit.” I am not at all close to this standard, but I really, deeply desire to follow this very, very important instruction from my heart. I beg for Your mercy and blessings so that I can act in such an exemplary manner, not just by external behavior, but internally, with full heart.
Guru Maharaja, in the last six years, I have received many personal and general instructions from You. Srila Visvanath Cakravarti Thakura, in his commentary to Bhagavad-gita 2.41, says that the secret of success in spiritual life is to make the instructions of the spiritual master one’s life and soul. I desire from my heart to follow Your instructions with full submission and dependence on descending mercy, and with the faith that the strength to carry out the instruction is bestowed within the instruction by the spirirual master.
Guru Maharaja, every morning we sing –
yasya prasadad bhagavat-prasado
yasyaprasadan na gatih kuto ‘pi
dhyayan stuvams tasya yasas tri-sandhyam
vande guroh sri-caranaravindam
By the mercy of the spiritual master one receives the benediction of Krsna. Without the grace of the spiritual master, one cannot make any advancement. Therefore, I should always remember and praise the spiritual
master. At least three times a day I should offer my respectful obeisances unto the lotus feet of my spiritual master.
Many times I ask myself if I am pleasing my spiritual authorities. I feel like I am displeasing them in my thoughts, desires and deeds. I beg for Your mercy and blessings to keep the pleasure of Guru and Krsna in the center in my thoughts, desires and deeds.
Guru Maharaja, on this auspicious day I humbly pray at Your divine lotus feet to please bless me so that I can somehow become an insignificant instrument in serving You and Your representatives.
O my eternal father, the ocean of mercy, the deliverer of fallen, I, the most fallen, bow down unto your lotus feet again and again and again…please accept my most humble, prostrated obeisances in the dust of Your most merciful divine lotus feet.
Aspiring to be your eternal humble servant,
Kasturi Manjari devi dasi