Sundar Dinakar Pasupathi
vande ‘ham sri-guroh sri-yuta-pada-kamalam sri-gurun vaisnavams ca sri-
rupam sagrajatam saha-gana-raghunathanvitam tam sa-jivam sadvaitam
savadhutam parijana-sahitam krsna-caitanya-devam
sri-radha-krsna-padan saha-gana-lalita-sri-visakhanvitams ca
Dear Guru Maharaja,
Please accept my most humble obeisances at the dust of your lotus feet. All glories to Srila Prabhupada. All glories to the followers in the line of Sri Rupa Gosvami.
Sri Krsna says in the Bhagavad Gita to relinquish one’s false ego and surrender at His lotus feet to be free from mental anguish and fear. This message is repeated by all the vaisnava acaryas again and again. By your causeless mercy, I am getting a hint about the various painful ideas that arise from false ego (even while trying to perform devotional service) and its remedy – to place myself humbly in the shelter of Sri Krsna through the medium of the luminary followers of Sri Caitanya.
When coming to devotional service with a background of mayavada, materialism and false ego, every person carries a big cart load of anarthas into the temple of devotional service. A vaisnava acarya, out of his causeless mercy tolerates the misgivings of neophytes and serves them to higher consciousness step by step merely seeing their good fortune of some attraction to Krsna. Srila Prabhupada accepted anyone and everyone into his temple without ever looking at the background of anyone and accepted everyone as his sons and daughters. As an extraordinary acarya, he gave opportunity for everyone to perfect his life. Following in his footsteps, you have accepted an arrogant and self-centered person like me to take your association and shelter.
Some devotees progress very rapidly and naturally in devotional service because they have the humility to accept the mercy of the Lord and His devotees. Hence they are able to stick to the essence of devotional service without getting lost in the details. Others may have to endure their anarthas for longer duration to get purified.
As stated in Sri Manah-siksa by Raghunatha dasa Gosvami,
pratishthasha dhrishta shvapaca-ramani me hridi
natet katham sadhu-prema sprishati shucir etan nanu
manah sada tvam sevasva prabhu-dayita-samantam
atulam
yatha tam nishkasya tvaritam iha tam veshayati sah
“As long as the impudent untouchable woman of the desire for fame dances in my heart, why should pure love for Radha-Krsna touch me? O mind, continuously serve my spiritual master, the leader of those who are dear to the Lord. Then my master will quickly kick out that harridan and allow that pure love to enter.”
When a devotee has not reached the platform of pure devotional service, though engaging in devotional service, he looks for some attention or return for his services either in a gross or subtle way because he does not have the full faith that Lord Krsna will definitely save him (raksisyati iti visvasa). He may also maintain some speculative ideas about devotional service, devotees, spiritual master etc. – in that way he is a karma misra or jnana misra bhakta.
But, by observing and getting educated by the spiritual master, he becomes fortunate to engage in jnanakarmadi anavrta bhakti – bhakti that is far purer and satisfying than speculation and self-interest. Hence, personal association of a devotee is of paramount importance, even if it is for a fraction of second (lavamatra sadhu-sange sarva-siddhi haya). Every vaisnava acarya has his unique personality bestowed upon him for his unique service– Srila Bhakti Siddhanta Saraswati Maharaja’s presentation is so different from Srila Prabhupada’s, though the essence of their teachings is the same – unmotivated and uninterrupted service based on attraction to service towards Krsna.
Srila Prabhupada is such a tall and towering acharya who has his legs firmly on the ground though his head was in the spiritual sky – that even while speaking about the cows in Vrndavana during Krsna’s presence, he does not forget the cows that get slaughtered mercilessly in Kali Yuga. He is not an acarya who merely philosophized and gave scholarly speeches with no changes in the life of his followers. He is uniquely empowered to reveal Lord Caitanya Mahaprabhu Himself to the world exactly when it needs it the most. Caitanya Mahaprabhu’s incarnation remained hidden till it was revealed by Srila Prabhupada.
His presentation is so unique compared to any other previous acarya and it carries the message of all the previous acarya’s as an essence. One must read Srila Prabhupada’s writings to understand the teachings and the spirit of the previous acaryas. If one tries to jump over to previous acaryas, he is sure to miss the essence of the teachings (simplicity, surrender to Krsna, preaching etc.) in hyperbolic and scholarly presentations.
Srila Prabhupada says in the Nectar of Instruction that only a devotee is able to understand another devotee, what to speak of a pure devotee. When a neophyte approaches a pure devotee, he is prone to have speculative ideas and misconceptions because of lack of pure attraction to Krsna. If he is fortunate to associate with pure devotees and attraction to Krsna dawns on him, he can understand the spirit behind the actions of pure devotees and their teachings.
A pure devotee does not have any material motivation in his planning, thinking, instructing and acting – he does it only for the purpose of Krsna. When a neophyte actually understands it, he is able to develop a genuine, loving and everlasting relationship with the spiritual master.
brahmāṇḍa bhramite kona bhāgyavān jīva
guru-kṛṣṇa-prasāde pāya bhakti-latā-bīja
“According to their karma, all living entities are wandering throughout the entire universe. Some of them are being elevated to the upper planetary systems, and some are going down into the lower planetary systems. Out of many millions of wandering living entities, one who is very fortunate gets an opportunity to associate with a bona fide spiritual master by the grace of Krsna. By the mercy of both Krsna and the spiritual master, such a person receives the seed of the creeper of devotional service.”
Thus one who is very fortunate gets to observe the activities of a pure hearted vaisnava who acts without motivations. When one is fortunate to observe and grasp the pure dealings, his heart will melt and he will become a pure hearted vaisnava himself.
Guru Maharaja, thank you for guiding me through the process of devotional service patiently for all these years. For a soul who takes shelter of his materialistic mind and becomes bewildered by false ego, devotional service may sometimes look very bewildering. You are exactly like an expert physician who continues to give medicines hoping that the patient will get better one day.
syāt kṛṣṇa-nāma-caritādi-sitāpy avidyā- pittopatapta-
rasanasya na rocikā nu
kintv ādarād anudinaṁ khalu saiva juṣṭā
svādvī kramād bhavati tad-gada-mūla-hantrī
“The holy name, character, pastimes and activities of Krsna are all transcendentally sweet like sugar candy. Although the tongue of one afflicted by the jaundice of avidyā [ignorance] cannot taste anything sweet, it is wonderful that simply by carefully chanting these sweet names every day, a natural relish awakens within his tongue, and his disease is gradually destroyed at the root.” (Nectar of Instruction, verse 7)
Please forgive me for any offenses at your lotus feet. Please bless me so that I can see through my anarthas and engage in pure devotional service.
Your humble servant, Sundara Dinakar Pasupathi