Sthira devi dasi

Dear and respected Guru Maharaja,

Please accept my humble obeisances. All glories to Srila Prabhupada.

My life has been transformed by the touch of your pure sound vibrations and exemplary training received from those you have personally trained. I met you and the devotees in the year 2007 in the holy dhama of Vrndavana. As I continued with the troop of devotees hearing pure sound vibrations in the dhama, I had an opportunity to interact with some stalwart devotees, sincere practitioners of the bhakti process for several years. They would wake up, attend mangala-arati and chant Hare Krsna on the beads. I would hang in with them and chant om coming from an impersonal upbringing. I found myself expressing to them – ‘this is my introduction to Krsna consciousness’. One of them tapped me on the shoulder and said – ‘No. This is a deep dive in Krsna consciousness.’ I was in the dhama, with the devotees hearing pure sound vibrations, it cannot get better than that. Since then, up until now has been a journey of enormous learning, immature mistakes and over enthusiastic endeavors. Every letter I receive from you has this phrase – ‘you are progressing very nicely towards Krsna, because Krsna is very kind’. Thank you for curbing my doership mentality and uplifting me to the reality that any progress is due to Krsna’s kindness. Krsna’s kindness entered into my life because you kindly gave me the shelter of your lotus feet.

Whenever I heard a class about living entities being conditioned and mixed devotion, I would wonder what is my conditioning and what is my mixture. I would wonder about thinking, feeling and willing and often asked questions how can they be aligned? I wanted to know where am I falling short.

This year I was witness to an incident that cajoled me to look within and ask myself some very important questions in my life. I was hoping since I am practicing Krsna consciousness everything in my life will go straight. When I did not see that happen, I was disturbed and disheartened. I was fault-finding and being angry for a long time. My mentor tapped me on the shoulder and said, how can you be upset with conditioned souls, move on. I was seeing, although there is fault at the other end, a Vaisnava is not stuck at the fault. As you say – life throws rocks at you, and you have an option about what you want to do with that rock.

For me, to see the wonderful Vaisnavas deal with the incident was a munificent display of how to turn adversities into opportunities. Although there were hurt feelings and emotions that had the power to carry one far away from Krsna. They remained fixed in their resolve to serve Krsna in whatever capacity He allows them to. They addressed the hurt, expressed the emotion, looked at their feelings, found out their needs, came up with strategies and kept moving. If I was in the situation all I could say is ouch and I heard them say – dharmo raksati raksitaḥ – [Manusmrti 8.15] When one protects dharma, he is protected by dharma. Their faith to be grounded was coming from a spiritual teaching and a desire to practice Krsna consciousness in the adverse situation.

I saw although I may know philosophy I lack in application. And Krsna is kindly arranging for me to see how to apply, it was yet another deep dive in my Krsna conscious journey. I saw how hearts filled with gratitude respond to a situation.

I want to thank you for providing me such exemplary association of devotees whose devotion is heart-deep. Your training to the devotees is very personal. I aspire to receive such training which can enable me to be fixed in my resolve to serve you and Krsna.

On this auspicious occasion of Vyasa-puja I request you to please bless me to move from an indifferent heart to a grateful heart and be focused on applying the principles of Krsna consciousness in my life.

Your aspiring servant,
Sthira devi dasi