Vaidehi devi dasi

Dear Gurudeva,

Please accept my humble obeisances unto Your lotus feet. All glories to Srila Prabhupada!

Your Vyasa-puja is coming again! I feel so guilty that I’m unable to report to you about my situation. Although I know from the bottom of my heart that you are concerned about me, praying for my spiritual life and helping me in various ways. I still immerse my mind in temporary material energy and fail to listen to your instruction of being dedicated to eternal spiritual life!

Since something unfortunate happened to the eyes of my son I’m profoundly experiencing how merciless material energy is! At present, my son is somewhat stable, but the bleeding in his eyes has not improved yet. Therefore, my inner heart is not at peace! However, all of a sudden recently I felt Lord’s kindness, which helped me to experience a bit of your teachings. Now that I have gradually resumed reading scriptures and listening to lectures it has helped me to get a little bit of understanding of Krsna consciousness. As you say, the fire of ordeal prompts us to grow up. Although the ordeal is too much to handle, my inner heart got softened with gratitude and tears as well as I developed some understanding and appreciation for you!

Although I’m still in distress and overcome with pessimism, I want to step out of it knowing well that I finally must become obedient to your teachings and must exclusively surrender unto the savior Krsna, knowing there is no other way, there is no other way!

You work so hard to spread Lord’s message to ensure that we can be awakened and live in the reality, but material energy is too powerful, Thank You for your blessings and guidance. Please be rest assured that I will work hard, I will completely come out.

My Gurudeva, I wish you a long life, good health and success in preaching activities. I hope you can see my progress. I hope I will not let you worry about me too much and hope you may feel satisfied with me!

Your disciple,
Vaidehi devi dasi