Sucarita devi dasi

om ajnana-timirandhasya jnananjana salakaya
caksur unmilitam yena tasmai sri gurave namah

nama om visnu-padaya krsna-presthaya bhu-tale
srimate romapada-svamin iti namine

mukam karoti vacalam pangum langhayate girim
yat-krpa tam aham vande sri gurum dina-taranam

My dear and most respected Spiritual Master and Eternal Father,

Please accept my most humble and respectful obeisances in the dust of your most merciful lotus feet! All glories to you, Guru Maharaja and Srila Prabhupada!

I want to begin my Sri Vyasa-puja offering with deep gratitude for the constant mercy you have showered upon me. It has given me hope and immense strength through rough weather and turbulent storms. There was never a day I felt left out from your saving grace and unwavering, towering presence—even as I repeatedly failed to do even what is favorable for bhakti.

Last year’s yatra to Haridwar was, in many ways, filled with invaluable lessons. Your interactions and exchanges with His Holiness Bhakti Caitanya Maharaja showed me how to nurture loving relationships through heartfelt appreciation, and how to come to acceptance when things don’t go as planned such as when the visit to Badrinath had to be cancelled due to unforeseen circumstances.

I feel extremely grateful for receiving brahmana initiation and can already see how it has slowly begun to transform me. The way you patiently explained how to chant the mantras, how to read them, and how you answered all my questions despite your packed schedule, made me wonder who was the person (or persons) who prayed so sincerely for me that I may receive the great fortune of being your disciple?

We correct or are concerned for those we care about. Your corrections make me feel blessed they give me a true sense of being guided and disciplined as your disciple.

Your words that a spiritual master is a well-wisher gave me unspoken confidence and deep reassurance that, despite all my shortcomings, I can truly be myself without any pretense.

Your visit to Bangalore offered more opportunities to receive your physical association, I deeply looked forward to it. This past year has brought many challenges in assisting with preaching services. When I first arrived in Bangalore, I came with so much baggage from the difficulties I was facing and the new roles I was transitioning into, including serving as a spiritual mentor for some.

godsister, “I can’t do this even for Srila Prabhupada and Guru Maharaja.” I am so sorry, Guru Maharaja, for feeling so overwhelmed. But by your saving grace and the prayers of my spiritual mentors, I was able to stay the course.

From the fine example of Hanuman, and your loving nudge to learn from Hanuman’s preparation, focus, and the compassion of an acarya, I tried to apply those lessons in my own life. These stood out for me:

• Extend the compassion of Srila Prabhupada rather than assume an authoritative position;
• Understand that preparation is essential for carrying out any service;
• No matter what happens, never lose focus;
• And reciprocate with heartfelt gratitude toward those who are helping us.

During the most challenging times, I remember your words: “Krsna is behind us we are simply instruments.” That gives me both confidence and seriousness, reminding me that Krsna’s instrument must strive to be the best.

Over the years, there have been countless occasions when your words have shown me the path, helping me take critical decisions when my material intelligence and logic failed. I seek your continued guidance and blessings, even though I never deserve it.

Guru Maharaja, I beg forgiveness at your lotus feet for all my offenses. My mistakes are endless and no matter how ashamed I am of them, I still struggle to overcome them.

Guru Maharaja, if you so desire, please bless me to serve you and take Srila Prabhupada’s legacy forward. Without your guidance and blessings I will be lost and clueless.

Aspiring to be your eternal servant,
Sucarita devi dasi