Vaidehi devi dasi

Dear Gurudeva,

Please accept my most sincere obeisances! All glories to Srila Prabhupada! All glories to Srila Gurudeva!

The guru-puja is approaching again, and I feel extremely anxious and uneasy in my heart because I feel ashamed of my ignorance toward you. Although I haven’t had any direct contact with you in recent years, I can still feel your love and care for me. Whenever I think of you, I deeply feel that you are praying to Krsna for my well-being. Therefore, I feel peace in my heart, but at the same time, I also feel dissatisfied with myself.

At present, I am still relying on my family, and due to financial difficulties, I cannot freely go out and associate with you personally. Because of this, I deeply feel the instability of material life. Through these years of practice, I have come to better understand how deeply we are trapped in material existence, how pitiful and limited our souls are, and how fortunate we are to have your presence in our lives. I can only try my best to follow your instructions according to my current situation—chant properly and do my sadhana well. But this is also my biggest difficulty, as I often do not do it properly. I hope to receive your encouragement.

Gurudeva, your online courses are my best spiritual nourishment, and I am extremely grateful to you for that. It is because of your tireless efforts to uplift fallen souls like us you present these wonderful courses. Thinking about these things warms our hearts as your disciples. This difficult life has made me increasingly aware of the importance of Krsna consciousness. I have realized that only you, Gurudeva, are my true shelter, because you have connected me to Krsna, and you are always concerned about my eternal life. Thank you, my eternal spiritual father.

Recently, I listened to a story about a spiritual master and disciple, which gave me a deeper understanding of guru-tattva and increased my confidence. I now understand that, due to the effects of karma, practicing this path is not easy. In my struggle, I call out to you – Gurudeva!Your presence gives me hope to keep going, and I pray you bless me so I can see you again soon.

Your struggling disciple,
Vaidehi devi dasi