Vaidehi devi dasi

Dear Guru Maharaja

Please accept my humble obeisances! All glories to Srila Prabhupada! All glories to you!

Once a year your guru-puja comes. Another year passed and I feel I have not made much progress. I am always praying for a deep connection with you, but always at an invisible distance. I know it is the pollution within me that has obscured me from seeing how important and kind you are to me and how much you care for me.

When my life is not going well, when I call you for help, your attention makes me feel strength and kindness from you. Whether I am right or wrong, as long as I have your attention, I can get your mercy.

Pride, inferiority, self-centeredness – these impurities keep me in disturbed situations in life, make me miserable, make me unhappy. Lately I have offended you, but you have helped me the most with your kind teachings, giving me a blow on the head, awakening my many unconscious senses, and giving me some power to eradicate my own impurity.

You remind me that I can’t go down like this again, can’t sleep on maya‘s lap, otherwise the situation is very dangerous! Wake up! These voices tapped into my heart and gave me the courage to change. I am grateful Gurudeva for your teachings and kindness, giving me the possibility of progress, and making me feel again that I can do nothing and am nothing without your attention and love.

I pray for the presence of Lord Krsna in guru-puja so that all of us who are your disciples may receive your greatest mercy and attention.

Your most fallen disciple,
Vaidehi devi dasi