Nandimukhi devi dasi

Dear Guru Maharaja — My most benevolent spiritual master and eternal father,

I beg to offer my most humble and submissive obeisances unto you. All glories to you and Srila Prabhupada.

om ajnana-timirandhasya jnananjana salakaya
caksur unmilitam yena tasmai sri gurave namah

Happy am I upon thinking about the opportunity to come before you, see you, hear from you, express myself to you, and serve you. Grateful am I to the assembled devotees, who remain dedicated to your service for years, who always bring smiles to your face, whose thoughts, words, and deeds clear up my cloudy mind and take me close to you and Krsna.

Dear master and father, what is the most pleasing way for me to serve you? In what manner can I best prepare myself for the “decade of tears” that witnessed and will continue to witness the departure of stalwart mainstays of Srila Prabhupada’s mission?

“In 1914, just a few weeks before passing away, Srila Bhaktivinoda Thakura had expressed his mano-‘bhistam to Sri Siddhanta Sarasvati, instructing him to establish daiva-varnasrama, preach suddha-bhakti, develop Sridhama Mayapur, and publish Vaisnava writings:

…Try to begin the parikrama of Sridhama Navadvipa as soon as possible. There by everyone in the universe can receive krsna-bhakti. Diligently endeavor to ensure that service to Sri Mayapur becomes permanently established and more resplendent each day. Genuine service to Sri Mayapur is not nirjana-bhajana, but to establish a printing press and to propagate devotional books and Nama-hatta. Do not for your own sake undertake nirjana-bhajana and thus impede preaching and service to Sri Mayapur.

When I am no longer present, take care to serve your dear Sri Mayapur-dhama. This is my special instruction to you. People who are like animals can never attain devotion; never accept their advice. But do not let them know this, either directly or indirectly.

I had a special desire to propagate the importance of such books as Srimad-Bhagavatam, sat-sandarbha, and Vedanta-darsana. Now you must assume that responsibility. Sri Mayapur will prosper if you inaugurate an educational institution there.

Never try to amass knowledge or money for your own sense gratification; they should be acquired only for Krsna’s service. Never take bad association, either for money or any personal interest.” [Sri Bhaktisiddhanta Vaibhava, Volume One, Part One, Three]

Expand and serve Sri Mayapur-dhama diligently and genuinely, never try to accumulate knowledge or wealth out of egoistic impulses, and never take bad association — this appeal of Srila Bhaktivinoda Thakura to Sri Bhaktisiddhanta Sarasvati is so fervent that, more than a century apart, it reads as if Thakura is directly addressing the audience. Yes, acaryas never stop guiding and empowering us, even if they are no longer visible to the mundane eyes.

Both within our tradition and in the broader world, abundant life stories can be found from which we can learn and take inspiration. There are second or third generation personalities who, after the departure of a phenomenal founder, preserved and extended the original mission. There are responsible, visionary, forward-thinkers who remain resolute and strong amidst turmoil and challenges. Material manifestation progresses in cycle, and history repeats itself in many ways. Claim it boldly that any psychological status we can encounter has been and will continue to be experienced, contemplated, and shared by past and future generations. It, however, takes lifetimes of repetition to intensify and refine our feelings as well as expand and mature our vision. Education is life itself, the bhagavata and the bhagavan are ready to impart guidance to any inquiring student.

As Lord Sri Krsna never hesitates to descend to this world whenever and wherever there is a need for uplifting humanity [Bhagavad-gita 4.7], you have been liberally extending yourself to me.

Although you can easily powder my intelligence, you allow me read through your manuscripts and ask for my remarks. Although you are more than capable of handling presentations and questions, you call upon me for assistance. Unfailingly, you give me the assurance that I am heard and valued, no matter what you are going through. Graciously, you protect and nurture the bhakti-lata-bija in my heart, not minding how insignificant and dormant it is. I am now convinced that I will never be deprived of your caring attention, whether or not I am in the vicinity of your physical presence.

I do not find any qualification in me that can attract the mercy of the bhagavata or bhagavan. They, on the other hand, being unlimitedly kind to the fallen souls, seeing my lonely attempts to understand the reality that only result in frustrations and confusions, revealed the Supreme Absolute Truth to me and lead me on the path to reach the life’s ultimate shelter. On this path, behind any infinitesimal amount of progress I can make is an immense amount of time, energy, blessings, and prayers from you and devotees. How could I possibly repay you, my dear master and father, and how could I possibly understand your magnanimous and magnificent heart, which is personally looked after by Srila Prabhupada, your dear and most respected spiritual master and eternal father, and thus serve you as you desire?

Long, long is the road and far, far is the journey. Like Uddhava could not bear the separation from Lord Sri Krsna, his patron and master, and was mad for want of the pleasure of seeing Him [Srimad-Bhagavatam 3.4], I bow down repeatedly and beg for continued mercy so that never will I lose sight of your lotus feet. Being your disciple is at the core of my identify and existence. Please purify me, qualify me, and keep me with you, always, as a menial servant in your unceasing service to Srila Prabhupada.

Your eternal servant,
Nandimukhi devi dasi