Sadhu-sangananda dasa
My Dear Guru Maharaja,
Hare Krsna! Please accept my most humble obeisances at the dust of your divine lotus feet on this most auspicious occasion of your Vyasa-puja. All glories to Srila Prabhupada.
Guru Maharaja, I seek your blessings very deeply to write about your glories. There is never a time when we get an opportunity to write about “Krsna” to Krsna. But we have a very rare opportunity to write about our Guru. Krsna has not given me many chances to get your physical association which I always aspire for. I get very amazed to read various exchanges of other devotees with you and pray to Krsna that someday I may also sit in front of my Guru Maharaja’s lotus feet, rendering many personal services to him. But at the same time, I find myself fortunate that I need to contemplate more and dig into my heart to please you with unlimited opportunities provided by you, which are very much equivalent to personal services. I am just trying to do this service as a loving offering to my spiritual father. I do not want to speculate and write beyond my realizations. One thing I have understood is that you do not like artificiality; anything genuine pleases you the most. I was just remembering Bhagavad-gita 9.26 that if we offer something with love, Krsna accepts. I find the same with His pure representatives, like you.
Guru Maharaja, because of your extremely loving attitude and your nature of not rushing your disciples, I have been saved from deep self-suicidal pool of material life and transformed to practicing Krsna consciousness blissfully. My conception was that Krsna consciousness is a bunch of rules and regulations, which need to be done or at least shown externally to the community in which we live. That show of following rules and regulations itself had become obstacles in my devotional life. This is also confirmed by Srila Prabhupada in his purport to Srimad-Bhagavatam, verse 1.2.12. Your approach is completely different and you taught us through various examples that putting your heart in each activity, even if it is very small is what matters. You taught us that quality matters more than quantity. We cannot achieve Krsna by the volume of sadhana, as Rupa Gosvami says in Nectar of Devotion. We need to put our hearts into the sadhana. Your teachings in line with the Gosvamis’ teachings are touching deep in the heart and making us very content and at the same time keeping us motivated to go ahead. I never felt any pressure; everything is proceeding well in the association of devotees. Thank you so much Guru Maharaja for being so loving and considerate.
Another thing which we read in Srimad-Bhagavatam is that Krsna’s mercy is dependent on His will. He may give His mercy to devotees who are chanting just a few rounds (like Ajamila) or He may wait for a suitable time (as you mentioned in your Madhurya Kadambini lectures) for someone very sincere in their practices. We experience the same. For example, you are so merciful with SEVA groups that in spite of our many inabilities, you extend yourself to the maximum. We do not deserve your monthly addresses, special themes during yatras (in the last yatra, you gave two hours straight of lectures in spite of the busy schedules), your giving us a chance to write to you regularly, and so many things. We really feel very close to your heart, Guru Maharaja. Please always keep us there and engage us in your services.
I understand that conditioned souls like us may forget our commitment to you that we formalized during our initiation but your commitment to all of us to take us back home is unbreakable. Once you accept us, you never let us go away. You provide all possible shelter and protection. I do understand that it is a two-way relationship and I need to learn how to put Guru and Krsna before myself.
The special addresses to SEVA group are treasures that help us walk the path of Krsna consciousness with gratitude, faith, and humility. I am specifically grateful for your loving exchange with our family during Radha Gopijanvallabha’s welcome. I am also very grateful to you for the recent Madhurya Kadambini classes; we have heard it two times. Our GPS is hopefully set and now we know that coming into devotee association has been possible due to the mercy of devotees. This is the reason why we have started practicing devotional service. Reaching the stage of prema bhakti is very, very rare and we need to put our heartfelt sincere effort while we wait for your causeless mercy to get there. You have transformed our lives with your unlimited compassion, deep and divine wisdom, and tireless service to uplift humanity. Your teachings inspire us to strive for pure devotion, surrender ourselves wholly, and engage in selfless service. How much you travel Guru Maharaja! I cannot imagine someone at your age traveling so much just to please Srila Prabhupada! Many times a day, I get reminded of a picture sent by someone in our Godbrothers’ group where you are carrying one backpack and another bag at airport heading to your next service. I am very fortunate, Guru Maharaja, that I am getting a chance to serve you. I do not know if Prabhupada will be satisfied by seeing my efforts, but I am confident that I will surely please him by serving such beloved son of his. Please always keep me engaged in your service and instructing me. We are extremely grateful to you for your guidance, blessings, and shelter at your lotus feet. On this special day, I, Kirtida and Arihaan pray to Sri Sri Radha Gopijanavallabha to serve you with greater sincerity and dedication. May we all become instruments of your mercy in fulfilling Srila Prabhupada’s mission. Please forgive all our offenses.
Your aspiring servant,
Sadhu-sangananda dasa